Lottery Fanatics Gifts

'Lottery result...the lottery result...'

Bribes for Jabs

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

"Have you been scratching this?"

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

"It's lotto fever."

Snacks. Food. Drinks. Win! Play! LOTTO here! I changed my name to "Lottery Ticket" and hang out here. It's a great place to get scratched!

"In light of current market conditions, I've diversified your portfolio to include Lotto tickets and bingo chips."

Eurozone leaders reach consensus. . .

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

'Ordinarily I wouldn't do anything like that, Mr. Hubbard, but I just hit $2 million in the lottery!'

"Where's the NHS money coming from? Well, I've decided that we will invest £10,000 a week into Euro lottery tickets..."

"The good news is, my son is a potential winner, bad news, I'm still buying his lottery tickets."

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

'So this is how they're recovering from insolvency?'

'I've only got two numbers to go on the bingo!'

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

'IT'S NOT YOU!'

"You have a choice - our 401k plan or a free lottery ticket each Monday morning for 20 years."

"It seems I'm having some credibility issues."

'Has anything changed since your Dad won the lottery?'

"Who would have thought, us in Hawaii, still we'd better get used to mixin' with the jet set. . ."

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

I'm going to say my prayers. Should I play the same lotto numbers?

"No, I'm not contributing to his 'leaving whip-round'. He's leaving because he won the lottery!"

'Sorry - those figures aren't part of the equation. They're my lottery numbers.'

Man reading letter, 'You may already be a winner' about to step on rake.