Lottery Enthusiast Gifts

'I'm in equities and mutual funds. You?'

Scientist wins the lottery

"No, I don't think it'll change him... He's just waiting until it's off-peak time so he can call his mother and tell her the good news!"

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

'This is my scrapbook of losing lottery tickets.'

'Isn't that your fund manager?'

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

'Ha-ha, that's so random.'

"I just won the Euromillions."

This week's lottery numbers

A lucky bloke finds a winning lottery ticket, just as a meteor is about to hit him - 'Wow, a winning lottery ticket! What are the odds?'

"It's lotto fever."

Man jumping off a building while another leans out telling him he has won the lotto.

"Those two are recent Powerball money. The people by the table are old state-lottery money."

"I'd like 13,983,816 lottery tickets please..."

Don't jump! You haven't paid your five bucks for the office lottery pool yet!

"Oh, well, this is going to be awkward."

Sorry, You Didn't Win This Time

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

'Surprise! -- the National Lottery is a DRAFT lottery!'

'-and if this doesn't change your life,Miss Gibbs my name isn't Arthur Potts,23,Oak Tree Lane,telephone 679021,e mail...'

"The good news is, my son is a potential winner, bad news, I'm still buying his lottery tickets."

"Cutting out the middleman."

"I have a good feeling about this!"

Bill Gates wins $20 million in a lottery...'Is that considered a lot of money?'

Pools Winners

'Our fee for representing lottery winners depends on which envelope you pick'

'What number is the hymn 'All things bright and beautiful'?'

'You owe us five more dollars.'

'What's all this we hear about you winning the lottery?'

'My grandaddy made it big in oil...'

'I knew they had formed a syndicate but didn't know they had won this week's record payout!'

'Do you really think the sweepstake people are going to award you a million dollars when they misspelled your name on the mass mailing list?'

"The slave Spartacus has picked this week's lottery numbers!"

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'