Lotto Lover Gifts

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

'For the jillionth time, I have looked everywhere! That winning lottery ticket has got to be in his pants!'

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

Police Station. He tried to steal a winning lottery ticket. What do we charge him with? Grand theft lotto!

'Who told you about my lottery win?'

Tradesman/Lottery Millionaires entrance

'I have this sure-fire method to beat the lottery!'

'Excuse me, can I borrow your pin?'

'What number is the hymn 'All things bright and beautiful'?'

'It's YOU, isn't it dear? You're the mystery lottery winner!'

"Pack your bags, Maureen! I've got the lottery up love!"

"Ooh, that reminds me. I must remember to put my lottery numbers on."

"Instead of getting a job this summer, I'm buying 50 lottery tickets every week."

When Tia Carmen says... "Every misfortune you have carries in it the seed of tomorrow's good luck!" it means... "I didn't win the lottery last week, but this week that jackpot's mine!"

"I have a good feeling about this!"

"No one knew for sure who won the lotto jackpot. . . but Jimmy indicated that his fiscal situation had improved."

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

Bribes for Jabs

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

'Eh, love. The one armed bandit at the end of the bar isn't working.'

"Have you been scratching this?"

'I say we try it.'

"It's lotto fever."

"In light of current market conditions, I've diversified your portfolio to include Lotto tickets and bingo chips."

Snacks. Food. Drinks. Win! Play! LOTTO here! I changed my name to "Lottery Ticket" and hang out here. It's a great place to get scratched!

Eurozone leaders reach consensus. . .

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

Lord of the Rings: Two Towels

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

'We're identical twins, but I'm luckier than he is!'