Lottery Consultant Pillows

WIZARD OF ODDS...gambling, lottery consultant.

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

'I'm sorry, Bob, it wasn't you who won the mega-pool. It was Helen in accounting.' (to man mooning boss).

Highlights for Adults

Cannibalism and 'The Hunger Games.'

"Have you been scratching this?"

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

"It's lotto fever."

"What lucky stranger's hitting the jackpot tonight?"

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

Eurozone leaders reach consensus. . .

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

SMALL BUSINESS LOANS, 'Your business plan seems to depend on winning a lot of state lotteries....'

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'

'Ordinarily I wouldn't do anything like that, Mr. Hubbard, but I just hit $2 million in the lottery!'

"Where's the NHS money coming from? Well, I've decided that we will invest £10,000 a week into Euro lottery tickets..."

"The good news is, my son is a potential winner, bad news, I'm still buying his lottery tickets."