Lost Traveler Comedy Gifts

'Oh, what the hell, let's stick it over there.'

Carefree luggage.

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Transylvanian backpackers.

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

Camping holidays in the British summer.

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

Steve found himself on his travels.

"All the other passengers have collected and gone so well just have to admit they're ours!"

A tourist sees that every sign leads the right way.

"Aren't you going to ask me if I've forgotten anything?"

'Next time, spring for a little more, and get a GOOD GPS'

'I can't talk... I'm in the quiet carriage.' - '3...2...1...' - 'What? I can't hear you... you're breaking up...' - 'Brace! Brace!' - 'I said 'I'm in the quiet carriage'!!!' - 'Irony crash.'

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

"Yeah, it's a drag, but the only flight I could get was a red-eye."

"Well, they did say half-board."

"I get it...you went south for the winter. Now, don't you think it's time to ditch the shirt?"

"And this is my niece. She's four. She'd also love to eat you."

"Amsterdam? Boy, am I lost!"

Man is mugged in the snow and then mugged again by the same person when on holiday.

"I'd like to go somewhere with warm water, balmy breezes and no extradition treaty."

"Oh, bugger!"

'The ironic part is, I'm sure I left the bathtub running.'

Maps to the house arrests of the stars

'I hope i did leave the faucet running so the water will put out the fire from the stove I left on.'

'You can't get there from here!'

A turkey on a baggage carousel

"Did you put out the fire before we left?"

I think we're just going round in circles