Travel Comedy Lover Gifts

'Uhh, could I have your frequent flier points?'

"Fascinating! Dr. Mort, this proves that the early Flightattenderthal did in fact impale passengers who brought on oversized carry-on luggage!"

Carefree luggage.

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

Can I have a look at the map?

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

'Straight on, you can't miss it.'

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

1,000 places to see after you die by Shirley Maclaine.

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

Holiday Luggage

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

Traffic Sign

'Budget is the name of the airline. Nobody said anything about cheap flights.'

'Next time, spring for a little more, and get a GOOD GPS'

'I can't talk... I'm in the quiet carriage.' - '3...2...1...' - 'What? I can't hear you... you're breaking up...' - 'Brace! Brace!' - 'I said 'I'm in the quiet carriage'!!!' - 'Irony crash.'

Your Luggage

The Leaning Tower of Pizza

"Yeah, it's a drag, but the only flight I could get was a red-eye."

'You've been looking for that cuff-link, haven't you? Well...'

'We're not going to Roswell again, it's such a tourist trap.'

"I get it...you went south for the winter. Now, don't you think it's time to ditch the shirt?"

Alfredo the knife thrower's first air trip.

Maps to the house arrests of the stars

"And this is my niece. She's four. She'd also love to eat you."

At the airport.

'This will hurt you more than it will hurt me.'

"There's a gender neutral toilet under the bed."

"Whether I have five passengers or five hundred, I try to make the same inane announcements."