Looking For Love Pillows

"Rugged romantic seeks elegant lady. Must like hunting and gathering"

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

'Pinocchio, under the 'would like to meet' section you've put 'fun-loving brunette made of oak'. This may prove difficult.'

'Sorry Andy. I really can't help you. What you need is cash, and lots of it.'

Sue believed that one day she would find her soul mate - and her missing sock.

'I'd be willing to settle for a 'Mr. Wrong' who's trainable.'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Financially Secure Romantic with sufficient fire in belly seeks damsel in distress...

"Being a refrigerator magnet is fine, but I wish, for just one day, I could be a chick magnet."

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

'The computer keeps matching you up with your mother.'

Peg Party.

'This sounds good. Sensitive, professional male, 30-35, enjoys long slithers along the beach...'

'Catherine-as in Zeta Jones.'

'Sorry. I don't think we have any women with that good a sense of humour.'

'There may never come a prince to marry me... so what, a credit officer would be great as well!'

Despite wanting to date a man who was 'young at heart', Beryl couldn't help but feel a little disappointed with her blind date.

'We found a girl here who might like you. How's your Bulgarian?'

Speed Dating: Hurry up, you old git!

ACME COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'She should be attractive, intelligenty, charming, and funny, or best offer.

'Sorry Andy. I really can't help you. What you need is cash, and lots of it.'

'Please tell me that you have something else to offer?'

'He'd ask you out himself but he believes silence makes him more attractive.'

'Okay, this time we'll try for someone with a really good sense of humour.'

'Long time, no she.'

Still searching for my Prince Charming.

'She must be called Ruth.'

'Don't be discouraged. Somewhere out there is a girl warthog who will think you're extremely good looking.'

"I don't need an application form..."

"You the guy who advertised for a gal just like the gal who married dear old dad?"

She was looking for 'Mr. Right'. Unfortunately, she found 'Mr. Right Away'.

Ambivalence at first sight...

"This might suit you. Somebody wants to meet a young man with an arresting personality."

"Are you 'distinguished connoisseur of offbeat eating establishments'?"

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."