Long-lost Friend Gifts

'Well, well, if it isn't Ted Watt in the flesh!'

"He's been abroad for 40 years. . . will he recognise you?"

7 Dwarves of Retirement

"No, it's not a bug. Since you keep losing you phone, I purchased you a phone-locating drone."

'Remember the...um...the...uh...oh, yeah...remember the Alamo!'

Which vaccines did they have when you were young? You cannot get under my skin, loser. Were you vaccinated against the black plague? Not bothering me. Were you vaccinated against leprosy? I am unaffected by you. Were you vaccinated against the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs? Munch mun - When's the last time someone shoved a syrupy pancake down your pants?

Aging Support Group

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

'You see doctor I've been increasingly Forgetful.'

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

"You're right, they are statins."

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

"I did my 10,000 steps by looking for my reading glasses."

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

"Harold! Don't forget to get the eggs!"

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

"I'll help you find your glasses after I find my horn."

Man with 'low memory' on his phone and his head

"Same old crowd."

'Yes, old friend, we've traveled a long road, made a lot of stops, scooped up a lot of poop...'

Who's Dead

"Believe me, I didn't amass a billion dollar fortune just to impress you. But... it does, right?"

"May I borrow your glasses so I can find my glasses?"

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

"Tom, did you forget to feed the pets tonight?"

'I don't remember ever having a good memory.'

'We,ve still got it,Fred-it's a pity they don't want it anymore!'

Amnesia Clinic: "Take one of these pills whenever you remember to."

"Fusilli, you crazy bastard! How are you?"

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'