Lollipop Lady Gifts

'Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...'

Old dear crossing.

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

Caution! School Crossing.

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

You complete me!

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

Do you think room service could bring me an ice lolly?

"Sorry, I can't. . . I'm really swamped."

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

No early morning tea past this landing

"Being a crossing guard for a squirrel is exhausting!"

"If a fruit doesn't have a lolly flavour, is it a real fruit?"

"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."

Goldylocks and the Three Beers.

'Eh, love. The one armed bandit at the end of the bar isn't working.'

'I'd love to play house, Kevin, but I've got a business to run.'

'Rat arsed.'

"Give me one, three and five pints please."

'When I first saw here I thought I'd died and gone to heaven, but not with beer at these prices!'

'My dentist wants you to stop giving me lollipops!'

"That's brilliant Mr Beaver: These wooden platforms are a lot more durable than lilypads..."

'Tell you what; I'll give you the lollipop and I'll give you the shot.'

Selling salt lick lollipops to reindeers.

A Deer Traffic Warden.

Nell in a faint

'Please Pass the Moon Tan Lotion.'

"I can't clean my room right now! Don't you always tell me to slow down and finish my meals?"

Proponent of good diet and vigorous exercise - Mr. Tramp does admit to an occasional sweet...

"If you can't see the sea I can recommend an optician in the High Street."

Beach goer squeezes sun block tube and a t-shirt pops out.

'I like their lollipops. If we ever get any money, we ought to open an account here.'