Log Rolling Champion Gifts

Lumber Jacka**

Of pitting his own wits against their natural cunning

Christmas Drinks 'n' Nibbles System

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

An angry barbecue.

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

"We could have saved time and just served the served the charcoal briquettes."

Ted enjoyed going to the park and feeding the woodpeckers.

'Sir, your suitcase is quantitatively challenged.'

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

'It's an EIEIO!'

'I got this one from my son who made it at camp.'

'I want to thank all my obstacles for making this possible.'

"Building a dry stone wall if you must know!"

Oil gushes out of a oil derrick on a computer screen.

'1875 - Captain Matthew Webb becomes the first man to swim the English Channel.'

'Look out for the park ranger while Bernie and I chop us some firewood!'

Pinterest shaming

"OPEC tighten the screws. the Larned A. Corys are ready."

'Remember I said I bought the largest RV on the market? Well, it has a flat.'

Died After A Brave Battle With Everything

Drug testing for Tour de France.

'So what if Tex is sitting on your log? Pick out a new one!'

Loggers Destroy Industry.

"It's 'Toad in the charcoal'."

'Can you call back? He's busy right now.'

"O.K., Peter, time to go."

Never give up! Unless it's really h.....

Le javelot pour bûcheron.

Snake Scout Jamboree

How Are My Safe Work Habits? Call 1-800-555-safe.