Country Living Champion Gifts

'It's an EIEIO!'

"Building a dry stone wall if you must know!"

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'Life is great' down on the farm.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Country Bumpkin.

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

High Riders of the Old West

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

I fart more than that!

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

Farmers' Warnings.

Summer in Elysium and The long vacation in Arcadia

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

Cow and Milk

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

Home Sweet Second Home.

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

Last Chance for Everything.

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

Clandestine cows.

Dear Farmer Brown - we really don't like you. The Animals.

'You're stampeding yourself! You're stampeding yourself!'

'Did you want me, boss?'

"I like friut flies!"

The Scenic Route