Log Loving Enthusiast Gifts

Loggers Destroy Industry.

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

D.I.Y

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

Christmas Drinks 'n' Nibbles System

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

The Near Outback: Lenny and Samantha

"Well, that's right. It is a disco ball. The regular lamp is in the shop."

Ted enjoyed going to the park and feeding the woodpeckers.

Water skier being attacked by giant fish.

'I wonder how many board feet are in this tree.'

'Yellow pine? No, I want to panel my den in purple pine.'

EPA - Environmental Persecution Agency.

'At least this means we won't need a coal mining search.'

Less than Ultimate Fighting.

"It all started out just fetching sticks, and the business sort of grew from there."

"When I Say Tweet, You Say Tweet!"

WW Global Bank: 'No wonder you're another day older, and deeper in debt, you can't earn a profit loading number nine coal!'

"OPEC tighten the screws. the Larned A. Corys are ready."

'Yuck Mum, this wood is way too dry!'

Determined fisherman

'I feel really close to nature with the wood-burning stove.'

'All right, Pal, gimme all the money or I'll open up this biefcase!'

"Perfect!"

'This is the most unusual post & pier construction I've ever seen.'

'Can you call back? He's busy right now.'

'There's no inflammation of the wood pole. . . but he does appear to suffer from hardening of the chain saw.'

Paul's Bunions

'I don't care if you built it yourself. This place is a fire trap.'

Biggins regarded his gift from Santa with mixed emotions. On the one hand, he now had a whole year's worth of research funding...

Pavlov's Logs

'Grandpa, tell me again how you used to chuck wood before you started outsourcing,'

Le javelot pour bûcheron.