Locker Room Tales Gifts

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

"I locked the key in the trunk."

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

Cleaning Lockers.

'We've got a personal hygiene foul! Number 70!... Fifteen yards!!'

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

'Same tragic story...A disgruntled athletic trainer burst into the locker room and starts taping players at random...'

'Aw, come on guys - at the end of the day, it's only a game - right?'

'And don't shrink it in a hot wash.'

"Well, once again I find myself all pumped up with no place to go."

'I don't need to exercise to lose weight. The odor in this locker room suppressed all my appetite.'

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

You Don't Know What It's Like

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

'Nobody will see it in the sauna. Besides, how bad can your birthmark actually be?'

'Okay, so we're 4 and 8 this season. Take away those 8 losses and we're undefeated!'

You were great last night

'Relax, the game is over.'

"Okay, seriously guys, who's not wearing deodorant?!"

Size matters!

'Athletic Trainer in the locker room...'

"I was being honest with him, he said he was being honest with me, so now we don't know who to trust."

Just minutes before the big game Gerald realizes he grabbed the wrong gym bag.

Locker Room. Ernie, on the radio they said your poor play caused eight sacks! What did the coaches think? I guess they were unhappy -- They were the ones the team owners sacked.

'I'm just saying - it doesn't help morale.'

'You've lost a step...'

Women after 10 minutes vs men after 10 years.

'He took a pass and disappeared?'

'Oh, yeah, and no whackin' off the night before a game!'

'Let him stay, coach. He couldn't find his team's locker room.'

You Don't Know What It's Like