Locker Room Laughs Gifts

'...Never wear the same pair of socks 10 days in a row.'

'Oh, yeah, and no whackin' off the night before a game!'

"His first out-of-body experience."

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

'We've got a personal hygiene foul! Number 70!... Fifteen yards!!'

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

'Same tragic story...A disgruntled athletic trainer burst into the locker room and starts taping players at random...'

'Aw, come on guys - at the end of the day, it's only a game - right?'

'And don't shrink it in a hot wash.'

"Well, once again I find myself all pumped up with no place to go."

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

Bathroom privacy options: A guide.

'Okay, so we're 4 and 8 this season. Take away those 8 losses and we're undefeated!'

'Nobody will see it in the sauna. Besides, how bad can your birthmark actually be?'

You were great last night

'Relax, the game is over.'

Size matters!

"Okay, seriously guys, who's not wearing deodorant?!"

'Athletic Trainer in the locker room...'

"My age is 55 but when I came in I was still 54..."

Just minutes before the big game Gerald realizes he grabbed the wrong gym bag.

"I was being honest with him, he said he was being honest with me, so now we don't know who to trust."

'This is the NBA, Doug. It's a whole new level. You need to stop referring to your locker as 'my cubby'...'

'I'm just saying - it doesn't help morale.'

Women after 10 minutes vs men after 10 years.

"Men's locker room. Caution: May not be as offensive as you've been led to believe."

"And if you forget who you're covering I'll be on the sidelines, in Hugo Boss, ready to remind you."

'You've lost a step...'

'He took a pass and disappeared?'