Locker Room Humor Gifts

"And if you forget who you're covering I'll be on the sidelines, in Hugo Boss, ready to remind you."

Just minutes before the big game Gerald realizes he grabbed the wrong gym bag.

"His first out-of-body experience."

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

'We've got a personal hygiene foul! Number 70!... Fifteen yards!!'

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

'And don't shrink it in a hot wash.'

'Aw, come on guys - at the end of the day, it's only a game - right?'

"Well, once again I find myself all pumped up with no place to go."

You Don't Know What It's Like

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

'Nobody will see it in the sauna. Besides, how bad can your birthmark actually be?'

'Okay, so we're 4 and 8 this season. Take away those 8 losses and we're undefeated!'

You were great last night

'Relax, the game is over.'

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

Coathooks.

Size matters!

"Okay, seriously guys, who's not wearing deodorant?!"

Missing sock poster

Locker Room. Ernie, on the radio they said your poor play caused eight sacks! What did the coaches think? I guess they were unhappy -- They were the ones the team owners sacked.

"I was being honest with him, he said he was being honest with me, so now we don't know who to trust."

"My age is 55 but when I came in I was still 54..."

'This is the NBA, Doug. It's a whole new level. You need to stop referring to your locker as 'my cubby'...'

'I'm just saying - it doesn't help morale.'

'You've lost a step...'

'Let him stay, coach. He couldn't find his team's locker room.'

'Oh, yeah, and no whackin' off the night before a game!'

"Men's locker room. Caution: May not be as offensive as you've been led to believe."

Women after 10 minutes vs men after 10 years.