Locker Room Legends Gifts

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

"I locked the key in the trunk."

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

Cleaning Lockers.

'We've got a personal hygiene foul! Number 70!... Fifteen yards!!'

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

'Same tragic story...A disgruntled athletic trainer burst into the locker room and starts taping players at random...'

'And don't shrink it in a hot wash.'

'Aw, come on guys - at the end of the day, it's only a game - right?'

"Well, once again I find myself all pumped up with no place to go."

'I don't need to exercise to lose weight. The odor in this locker room suppressed all my appetite.'

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

You Don't Know What It's Like

'Okay, so we're 4 and 8 this season. Take away those 8 losses and we're undefeated!'

'Nobody will see it in the sauna. Besides, how bad can your birthmark actually be?'

You were great last night

'Relax, the game is over.'

"Okay, seriously guys, who's not wearing deodorant?!"

Size matters!

'Athletic Trainer in the locker room...'

Locker Room. Ernie, on the radio they said your poor play caused eight sacks! What did the coaches think? I guess they were unhappy -- They were the ones the team owners sacked.

Just minutes before the big game Gerald realizes he grabbed the wrong gym bag.

"I was being honest with him, he said he was being honest with me, so now we don't know who to trust."

'I'm just saying - it doesn't help morale.'

'This is the NBA, Doug. It's a whole new level. You need to stop referring to your locker as 'my cubby'...'

'You've lost a step...'

'Hey Kekyll c'mon you should have changed by now.'

Women after 10 minutes vs men after 10 years.

'Oh, yeah, and no whackin' off the night before a game!'

'He took a pass and disappeared?'

'Let him stay, coach. He couldn't find his team's locker room.'