Locker Room Survivor Gifts

'I don't need to exercise to lose weight. The odor in this locker room suppressed all my appetite.'

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

"There, all neat and tidy!"

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

Nonsense Poem

Sheltering in place.

Well, I finished my summer reading list – now what?

I cut my own hair — using a drone.

COVID Devotion

"We've done everything in this book, and more. There's nothing left."

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

"But mom, I can't clean my room now. I just won the Kids Bedroom Seal of Approval!"

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

"Please fill out these forms. We don't need them for anything, but you're making me nervous staring at your watch."

Danger Noodle tho bored

'We've got a personal hygiene foul! Number 70!... Fifteen yards!!'

Covid-19 Caution

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

"Shall we have 'Glorious B****rds' next"

'And don't shrink it in a hot wash.'

"Actually, I didn't become dizzy and nauseous until I started inhaling the scent strips in the waiting room magazines."

"Working from home. In pajamas. Angry at the world. Filled with anxiety. Nothing is different."

"Transitioning from home to office again is more difficult for some than others."

"I went so quickly from hating Mondays to hating days."

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

"Well, once again I find myself all pumped up with no place to go."

"So working from home is no longer an option?"

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

"Oh go on just one more walk, just one, please!"

Life in Lockdown: Working from Home (The Video Zoom Call)

Stay Home And Feed Me!!!