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Lisa's cafe

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

Coffee Menu

Coffee

"I'd say business was brisk."

How About Serving Us For a Change

Swallows returning to Cappuccino.

Mouse Sidewalk Cafe

Cafe: 'Soup of the day, Hon, is 'primordial'.'

'It takes all day to eat it.'

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

Holy Ronald Reagan. Do you see who's come into the cafe? Reagan? No, it's Johnny Spinwell. The king of spin! Who? Consultant to politicians, stars, lawyers, corporate execs. No one finds the bright side like Johnny. Pea brain, you stepped on my toe. I got your circulation going to save your heart.

Alf's Cafe - Egg, Bacon and Tomato Plate, Catering Pack.

From now on, coffee is fifteen dollars an hour.

"My depression is currently being treated with a combination of prescription medication and low-fat frozen yogurt."

A turning point in the fight against rampact secularisation: the cafe priant.

I know why you're such a greedy, heartless scrooge, Armstrong. It's because deep down, you just want to be loved. But you're afraid of rejection, so you make yourself as unlovable as possible. That's the type of utter nonsense to expect from muscle-bound oaf who hadn't paid his tab in 13 years. I love you too, man. I hope you get audited.

Bookuccino. A melding of book and drink.

The Lesser Pyramids

'A cafe is just a failed restaurant really, isn't it?'

"This conversation is being performed in front of a live audience."

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

"Here's your... neti pot... to share..."

'MILK FIGHT!'

"No menus, you get what you deserve!"

I remember when you used to cock your head and listen to me like that.

Voting on their Seats

"Okay, but next time lunch is on me!"