Coffee Shop Enthusiast T-Shirts

'What are you staring at? You have free wi fi here, don't you?'

How About Serving Us For a Change

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

Back to work...

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

You've Had Enough!

Joined at the hipster.

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

"The more coffee I drink, the more these motivational posters make sense."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

"I'm trying to lure in Generation X-ers. They're the new sandwich generation. They're sandwiched between caring for their kids and caring for their parents. So they drink lots and lots of coffee."

Countervailing Clichés.

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Non-Power Breakfast

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

Law School teacher.

Mea Maxima Cuppa

EU and India partnership.

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

"Right now it's between you and two hundred and fifty other people who came to Seattle, moved in with five roommates, joined a band, took a job in a coffee bar, got fed up, had a meeting with themselves, and decided it was time to go out and find a real job."

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'