Llama Lover Gifts

"Am I the spitting image of dad, or what?"

'Of course they look like ants. These are ant hills.'

'Right in the face? I am so proud, your spitting accuracy has improved so much!'

'Llamas spit, Doctor!'

'No. I insist. You first.'

"The other waiters just spit in the food of rude customers, not in their faces!"

"Sorry Llamaboy, this just isn't working out."

Using lama as an umbrella

'Be my guest. Have a smell.'

'You want me to lead you where?'

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

'A corsage! How sweet of you!! It's delicious!!! '

'Do you like llamas? . . . Then good news. We're going to South America. . . we got our income tax form and we have no way of paying it.'

"Girlfriend, you're not fat. You're just retaining a little water."

'Isn't it sublime, Janet? The original Dali Llama.'

'I'm collecting llama poop for my strawberries.' 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

Spit roasted meat.

Dear Mr. Park, enclosed please find two dozen free return-address stickers from SPCL. Ooh, free! We are the Society for the Protection of Colicky Llamas. These poor creatures need your help. If you'd like to send a donation, we'd appreciate it. But if not, please enjoy these free stickers! And don't feel guilty for being a selfish loser. These get me so conflicted.

"This stool shall pass."

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

The Comfiest Hombre in the West

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

So Far So Good

'You knew all the time that we were inseparable.'

"You had me at alternative milk."

Volcaniax

'Eat the grass in perfect circles. It drives them crazy.'

The Daily Commute

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Spa Dog

Hair of the dog spots: christmas jumper

"Yeah, I used to be able to spit, but now I mostly drool..."

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."