Lasso Lover Gifts

'Fishing's not a whole lot different than being a cowboy.'

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"This stool shall pass."

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

Statue is moved to hold up the leaning tower of Pisa.

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

Kid tries to lasso a cat

Lasso

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

'Wow! Look everyone, Tarquin's lassooed a snake!'

I bake my own bread.

Italy in Three Days."We're doing Assisi tomorrow. Myra wants to shop red leather jeans."

Human Resources Dept. When the boss says you're on the "short list" for promotion, it's not a crack about your height.

"How are we on bread?"

"About time they did something about the rats!"

'A corsage! How sweet of you!! It's delicious!!! '

'Isn't it sublime, Janet? The original Dali Llama.'

'I'm collecting llama poop for my strawberries.' 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

Punch Initials - O

"I'll stop saying 'irregardless' if you'll stop staying 'at this point in time.'"

"See, I told you he didn't want to go out."

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

'Don't look now, but here comes some natural selection.'

"The other waiters just spit in the food of rude customers, not in their faces!"

"Captain, we can't communicate with the creature. It seems to only speak in corporate lingo."

"Our new dog seems to be really, really shy!"

Pisa and sons.

Hang Time Fido

'I like doing shampoos, it gets your hands clean.'

'Yes, Bwana?'

"Girlfriend, you're not fat. You're just retaining a little water."

'I guess I never should have quit the rodeo'

"Really, I feel fine. I just want to pick up some psycho-babble."