Liverpool Fan Pillows

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Egyptian Football

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

'I take it tonight's game has been postponed.'

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

Spot the fur ball.

"Of course I love you more than I ove football -- You were my first-round draft pick!"

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

Scouse For Beginners

'Sorry, but my dad would make a useless soccer coach: His only ball skil is 'fetch'...'

"Jim was a model Dad".

Stop with racism in sport!

"It will be a short service. We’re getting married during half-time."

Referee cop.

Theater or football.

'I'd watch this ref, he loves dishing out Punishment.'

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"

'I warned him about watching the game at the opposition's pub.'

Hands in same position from birth to death.

The game comes first...

"Vuuuuuuuuuuu!"

'Will you lean on the other post for awhile, please?.'

Despite Rainbow Flags: Football pro is afraid to come out!