Premier League Fan Pillows

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Football Chameleon

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

"Uptight End"

Egyptian Football

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

Archaeologists discover a football

'I take it tonight's game has been postponed.'

'Now what?!'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

Spot the fur ball.

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

"Jim was a model Dad".

'Sorry, but my dad would make a useless soccer coach: His only ball skil is 'fetch'...'

Red Card - Gold Card.

'Bad boy! Drop the quarterback! Drop him! Drop!!'

Football Violence

Stop with racism in sport!

'And if the scores remain level, you can text the name of the team you want to keep in the tournament.'

Referee cop.

'I'd watch this ref, he loves dishing out Punishment.'

"Go deep!"

Hands in same position from birth to death.