Live Sports Aficionado Gifts

Live soccer today.

'You're right. These are great seats."

"Portrait of a Lady"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Raheem Sterling

You were warned about mixed marriages.

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

Mohamed Salah

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

Vinnie's Billiards: 'Heck of a break, Ron!'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

'When I was a kid, we had to do our own instant replays.'

Cristiano Ronaldo

The Harper Plays Cricket.

Fox hunting.

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

Playing football with snowmen in goal.

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

'He ordered those 'natural male enhancements',and now he watches football all the time!'

Snowman Football Fan.

Thibaut Nicolas Marc Courtois

Football.

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

A skier and a paraglider

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'