Sports Commentary Aficionado Gifts

Winter Olympics

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Portrait of a Lady"

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

I think you're ace

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Perils of the double play.

'The 'Leviathan Bat,' or many centuried marvel of the modern (cricket) world. (Dr. William Gilbert Grace.)'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

"All those training sessions, seminars and studies... ... to reinforce the reality of womens equality and extirpate any remnants of a deluded belief in male superiority When all we had to do was show them Rachel Daly doing a bicycle kick GASP!"

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

Novak Djokovic has his visa denied to play in Australia as he is unvaccinated

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

'And with this one I scored 138 not out...every one off the edge.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'You know our track team stinks when our star pole vaulter is better at the limbo.'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'