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Theatre Crowd

Applause

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

'What do you MEAN this IS the show?!! Let me see the tickets!'

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

'Is there a fireman in the house?'

"This next song is called - 'I want to kill you'."

Watching telly

'You said to come back once I got my act together.'

The Ignored Busker

Are they dangerous? Only if I shut off the tv.

"This next one is for Lucy, my huge dead goldfish."

TV and man

'A fight has broken out between Dr. Who fans and Star Trek fans. No hurry, the likelihood of anyone getting hurt is very small.'

'Larry, did you feel THAT? Your career just peaked! And on MY show! Isn't that fantastic?'

"This one's for me."

Half time entertainment at many small clubs was a bit basic.

"You're on kid. Break a string!"

Antiques for Oldies: Squeal Now.

'There's nothing worth watching on TV, but he's not going to let a little thing like that stop him.'

"She died doing what she loved."

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the Antiques Roadshow

'Everything these days is influenced by television.'

David Letterman

Intramission

'I hope he doesn't pick on ME!'

Street musician: 'Opening in VEGAS next week'.