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COVID curtain in a theatre.

"But seriously folks, can you feel the requited love in this room?"

Trial by Media

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

Applause

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

Theatre Crowd

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"Tong!"

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"No Hand Sanitiser"

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

"They're texting it in."

Magic Accident

'Would you believe, all this is just part of a new reality show?'

Half time entertainment at many small clubs was a bit basic.

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

'I hope he doesn't pick on ME!'

"First caller is Rudolph, from the North Pole, you're on Rudolph. What's your problem?!. . . And before you speak, lt me just remind everyone that I spent ten years as a detective specializing in tracking down prank callers and mercilessly destroying their self-esteem."

Dr. Phil cranks it up a notch.