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COVID curtain in a theatre.

"But seriously folks, can you feel the requited love in this room?"

Trial by Media

Theatre Crowd

Applause

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"Tong!"

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"No Hand Sanitiser"

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

Menopause and the City

'What do you MEAN this IS the show?!! Let me see the tickets!'

"They're texting it in."

Clownton Abbey

Good Morning Britain

What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? What's with that senseless riot in Baltimore? What do you mean? America has a long history of self-destructive riots in response to police brutality. It's senseless to call it senseless. A city is like a human body. If you feed a body an awful diet of abuse and unaccountable cops, that body's eventually going to have a massive coronary. In short: Learn your history! And eat oatmeal! Oat ... What? What are you talking about?

Magic Accident

'Would you believe, all this is just part of a new reality show?'

"Anything in Mr, Rogers' neighborhood?"

Sue Perkins

Alan Davies.

'And that's not all, everyone in the audience today is going home with a brand new Buick!!! Oh wait...That's next Tuesday.'

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

Half time entertainment at many small clubs was a bit basic.

"First caller is Rudolph, from the North Pole, you're on Rudolph. What's your problem?!. . . And before you speak, lt me just remind everyone that I spent ten years as a detective specializing in tracking down prank callers and mercilessly destroying their self-esteem."

'I hope he doesn't pick on ME!'

Big Brother - Final Series.

Intramission

Linda Carter played Wonder Woman on the odl TV show. Her dad was Irish-American and her mom was Mexican-American. Before that, she was Miss World USA. Before that, she was forced by her abuelita to eat beauty and muscle foods like rice and beans."

Richard Hammond.