Little Pranksters Gifts

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"It's alive! Alive!!"

"Neither of us are dentists." "True, but we're saving a fortune on candy." "They probably give out healthy stuff." "Let's go next door."

Minor Surgery

Kid with cotton wool in his ears

'Boy, when I get tall you'll have to put all of the breakable stuff really high.'

"Hey, where are you going?"

"We have reservations. I'm the party of six, and this is the party of four."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

ABC Diapers. Comfy Tushy Diapers. Now 3 times more absorbent! Note to self: Drink 4 times more juice.

"No more tickling Daddy for awhile, 'kay Puddin?'"

'Outside with that!'

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

Tartar sauce.

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

A boy blows a raspberry at birds

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

The Amazing Mr Sausage

"Not that it's right, but I understand. I was young once and used to sneak out to do crop circle, too."

Homework Done and Homework Eaten Stands.

'I'm sorry, Mr. President, he can't come to the phone right now...he's doing that crazy hand jive.'

Kid in hospital has I.V. in him that is a straw.

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

Back to the Holidays

Some recently de-classified nuclear secrets.

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

'Smoking or non-smoking?'