Little Patient Charmer Gifts

'Why yes, I do remember little Timmy.'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

'Harvey does all his own 'get well' cards.'

'Don't try to turn tail and run. That's just what they want.'

"I don't think the crackling sound coming from your lower back is as serious as you thought. Just relax and I'll have this Rice Krispie Square out of your back pocket in no time."

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

'Let's play doctor - you be the patient, you be the surgeon, and I'll be the malpractice-attorney.'

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

'I usually don't make house calls but I'm glad to make an exception in your case, Gran'ma.'

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

"Wait. Let it breathe."

"Well, there's nothing wrong with his lungs anyway."

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

'You think you can purr your way out of anything, don't you?'

'This is a pick 'n' mix ward - you choose your own medicine.'

Give it to me straight, Doc — what's the bottom line?

'What do you mean, I get a reprieve from my wife's cooking? My wife is a cook here at the hospital.'

'Regarding the surgery you just had - I hope you have a good sense of humour.'

"I see there's been an improvement in your athlete's foot."

'Stop her Henry!'

'I keep getting this RINGING in my ears!'

"You sure have a funny way of making someone feel better."

'You don't need to worry about your records being sold to the highest bidder...they'll bugger it and sell them off cheap!'

'I'm not playing - I don't trust you!'

Man sitting in hospital bed notices a Goldfish swimming in his Intravenous Bag.

'I'll level with you...You're sick as a dog.'

'Very funny!'

"The doctor is ready to maltreat you now!"

Man in hospital hitting golf balls into a bedpan.

"The bad news is you do have a lump the size of a golf ball. The good news is my tests indicate it's just a golf ball."

"Yesterday it was the other side, but today the side effect is this side..."