Little Investor Gifts

'The birds and bees I know about. I need to know more about the bulls and bears.'

"All my lunch money's in real estate."

Two kids have stands: one Lemonade the other Tooth Fairy Investment Advisor.

'Gifts? I didn't want gifts. I want growth stocks!'

'The princess lived happily ever after on her dividends from her investment portfolio.'

'Steve feels it's never too early to instill long-term investment strategies.'

'Hello, Acme investments? I understand you can't start investing too soon...'

'Don't be so upset. He was able to name 27 out of 30 Dow stocks.'

"I think you should provide a 401(k) with my allowance."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Wall St. or True Love.

Will work for ETFs

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

Jr. cloning kit