Child Investor Gifts

'When you e-mailed that you wanted to invest your entire life savings, we thought you'd be older.'

Lemonade Inc.

$1: Family Secrets

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

"I don't get an allowance. I get earnings per share."

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

'What my stocks did during my summer vacation...'

'We're going to take a financial risk.'

Graduating students asking for cash donations.

'Currently I've got lemonade, 7% CDs, Discount Brokerage and No Minimum Passbook Savings. I'm going to miss banking deregulation.'

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

"I think you should provide a 401(k) with my allowance."

'A 7 load? Do you think I was born yesterday? Oh, wait, I was.'

'He's trying to put three kids through college.'

"We shouldn't have sent him to summer financial camp. Today he turned down a new soccer ball--he didn't like its yield to maturity."

"I like your reading the financial pages junior. It shows you have an acquisitive mind."

Man sees stand with kittens with sign, 'Free or best offer'.

'May I have a moment of your time? I'd like to tell you about a plan my bank has for your IRA...'

"But on the bright side, we're holding our own in a 12 trillion dollar economy!"

"Instead of an allowance, I'd like a stock option."

The boy who took his piggy bank to the drive thru bank

How to live on 25 cents a week allowance.

"She's asking if it's fresh-squeezed. Should I tell her to f**k off?"

Two kids have stands: one Lemonade the other Tooth Fairy Investment Advisor.

"If you opt for our premium package Ryan will only have tenured professors."

'The princess lived happily ever after on her dividends from her investment portfolio.'

"Someday, son, you're going to inherit a great deal of money. It's called 'Head Start'."

'Dad, can I put my pocket money into a pension fund to protect me from the economic winter?'

'We'd like to roll over our allowance.'

'Gifts? I didn't want gifts. I want growth stocks!'