Litigators Pillows

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

Law Firm: "A little litigation is good for the soul."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'What'll it be?'

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"Another slander suit!"

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

'Take me to your lawyer.'

Law Offices

Law school: 'Repeat after me, class 'sue 'em first, or be sued!'

Out of Court Settlement

"Whereupon the defendant let out a very sharp, hard-edged laugh that fell to the floor and painfully injured the plaintiff's right foot!"

'Remember, there's nothing to fear, except fear itself and costly litigation.'

"Congratulations, Counselor. It's a boy and your wife's fine. She just had a little difficulty passing his fin through the birth canal."

"He said his first word today - compensation."

'Luckily you caught it in time while you're still alive to sue.'

'I'm suing for libel! You've down graded me from being a reliable source to being just a confidential source.'

"I’ll have my lawyer call your lawyer to keep them gainfully employed."