Literature Devotee Gifts

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Are you planning on just looking at that book or are you gonna borrow it?"

Snowman outside library.

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"Meet The Author"

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

The DaVinci Code

First Novels.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Edgar Allen Poe

Thomas Mann.

Victor Hugo

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

The Dorrie Decimal System

Jean-Paul Sartre

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Blue Stockings

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

'He likes to power nap.'

Television Readers.

"Now I really hate poetry."