Literary Show-off Gifts

"You may not want to read this book but you'll certainly want others to think you've read it."

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

German Expressionist Breakfast

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

'Yorick? No, I don't think so, unless of course he was a Neanderthal!'

"Mrs. Berg calls my book report a finely crafted debut and she looks forward to my next effort."

"Eye of pie...a**e of rat...p**s of newt."

"Barb's such a fast reader."

"So, what are you reading?"

"If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore, and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! … Emerson" "Good boy!"

Shakespeare's Brain

Books / Coffee table books

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

"My dad says this pencil was once used by William Shakespeare." "Is it 2B or not 2B?"

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Some Debussy, Igor."

Shakespeare in the clink

Franz Kafka

'Cap'n Ahab, Sir! Starbuck wants to know if you fancy a coffee.'

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

Three Witches from Macbeth

J. D. Salinger

Hold for one more page, then roll over into the bended elbow, resting chin pose. Book yoga.

Stephen Fry

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

The Taming of the Ewe

Here "Lies" Pinocchio

Sherlock Holmes' tax return

"It's lost all meaning in the steroid era."

Boris Pasternak

"If all the world's a stage, I'm beginning to wonder about the PLAYWRIGHT!"

"Today we will focus on how the author makes the same exact complaints about here life, from her sixth birthday and on."

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

"Somnambulant... somnambulant."