Literary Hoarder Gifts

"Read? I don't read. I just collect."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

First Novels.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

The Dorrie Decimal System

'He likes to power nap.'

Jean-Paul Sartre

"Now I really hate poetry."

Blue Stockings

Voltaire

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

John Bunyan

Distractions Of The Great

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

Don Quixote

'And the cat is due back in 2 weeks.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe