Literary Hoarder Pillows

"Read? I don't read. I just collect."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Meet The Author"

First Novels.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

The Dorrie Decimal System

Voltaire

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Now I really hate poetry."

Blue Stockings

'He likes to power nap.'

Jean-Paul Sartre

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

John Bunyan

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

Distractions Of The Great

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

'And the cat is due back in 2 weeks.'

Don Quixote

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe