Literalist Humor Lover Pillows

A man turning down an invitiation

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"You're going to hate yourself."

Crap from the future.

Jack London

'I've got no problem with December, but what do I blog about the rest of the year?'

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

"Oooh, I know what I want to be when I grow up: Retired!"

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

The Monroe Doctrine

"Actually, not all roses are red. Sometimes they're white as well as numerous other colours. Also I think you'll find that violets are sort of purple..."

Honest Voting Stickers

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

Think tanks.

Only in America

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

Litteratti K9s.

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

"I love this time of year."

'...and do you solemnly swear to update your facebook status to 'married'?'

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

Police Lineup Escape

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

Busy, Busy, Busy

Dollars Press Conference

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"

Euro Collapse

"The union is objecting to our 'grotesquely inflated' wages, do you think they'd settle for 'outrageously inflated' instead?"

"Care for an oxymoron?"

"I don't know what that is, either - it could be the Olsen twins."

Spying Smart TV

"Six hundred Starbucks closing? Really? Is that on the East Side or West Side?"