Literalist Humor Lover Pillows

A man turning down an invitiation

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"You're going to hate yourself."

Crap from the future.

Jack London

'I've got no problem with December, but what do I blog about the rest of the year?'

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

"Oooh, I know what I want to be when I grow up: Retired!"

"Actually, not all roses are red. Sometimes they're white as well as numerous other colours. Also I think you'll find that violets are sort of purple..."

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

Honest Voting Stickers

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

The Monroe Doctrine

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

Think tanks.

Litteratti K9s.

"I love this time of year."

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

Police Lineup Escape

Euro Collapse

"Welcome to Alabama. Pro-life at birth; not so much after that."

"I don't know what that is, either - it could be the Olsen twins."

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff,'

"Care for an oxymoron?"

'Escape?...Why?'

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"