Lit Critter Gifts

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Biofelineism

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

We regret to inform you that your poem, "The Ramen," does not meet our publishing needs at this time. The short, frustrating career of Edgar Allan Typoe.

National Oil Reserve (Formerly National Wildlife Reserve).

'Ants of all lands, unite!'

Keats's heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains his sense.

The Critic...

Servant Painting Targets Around Arrows Shot by a King

Ralph has lots of animal magnetism.

"Your new book, 'Help - My Head's Caught in a Pipe,' has been called by some to be semi-autobiographical. Can you comment on these rumors?"

The Best of Times/The Worst of Times

The White Whale Mounted On The Wall

A man sits in an armchair admiring his little pickers and trophies of litter he has picked up which are displayed on the wall.

Man throws his burger wrapper into the trash.

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

'Why did Oliver Twist?'

Gatorade!

'You just stood there and let them put a bell on you? -- What were you THINKING?'

'Clown fish ... '

"I couldn't believe it either, but Heaven really is a dumbed-down book fair."

Chick stands in front of bookshelf marked 'chick lit'

'He's a nice guy, but he doesn't bite, if you know what I mean.'

"It was too good to be true when the old cat died! They're just back from the shelter with a kitten..."

Mouse reading magazine, "Mouse and garden"

"Sorry, Pembroke, but Telford here is lavishly illustrated."

"Can I return this, please? You sold me a chic-lit-rom-com, and I distinctly remember asking for a plain chic-lit."

"He shows great artistic pretension."

Squirrel with nutcracker

"I know it's a classic. But I could only get halfway through it."

Jane Air

Insect Insults.

"So what if I read gothics all the time? To Eyre is human!"