Liquor Store Employee Gifts

'How can you tell a red wine from a white?'

A Good Batch.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

CASA DE JOY PREMIUM TEQUILA STONE BISSETT DISTILLERY CONT. NET.1000 ML 40% ALC Vol.

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

Wanna talk about it?

"Do you take dark money?"

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."

'We are now entering sombre hour, happy hour has finished.'

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"Right, I'd better go...corpses on't pick themselves clean y'know!"

'Says here, a disgruntled employee brought a gun into the liquor distillery today...to the gills!'

Now THAT, my friend, is a beer garden!

Hotel mini-bar.

"Brian's considering the optics."

Bottle Opener Sticks 'Em Up For Armed Robber In Liquor Store

'I would suggest a Cabernet Sauvignon. It's non habit forming. I should know. I've been drinking a glass every day for twenty years.'

"Oh him, that's Ron. He's a permanent fixture in here."

"Let 'em try to regulate this!"

'Say! You're new here aren't you?'

"What wine goes best with vodka?"

"Right now we're at a budget impasse. I maintain that you provide an essential service, and my wife feels that you do not."

'This must be the work clothes section.'

'It's not quite ready now, but come 2285, you'll be glad you waited.'

'The numbers don't look quite so bad along with the hard liquor.'

'Which one has the highest alcohol content?' 'That one.'