Linguistics Gifts

Boston Gastroenterology Clinic: 'No, I don't have an accent. I said your appointment was too farty.'

"You know your mistake? When they say 'speak,' you speak."

"...and our new drugs - Palistilap, Orfinifro and Kyriltliryk - are all palindromes."

Got idea. Talk better. Combine words. Make sentences.

'I say to hell with it. If it can't be said in English, it ain't worth saying at all.'

'It must be nice to be bilingual.'

Semantics - A classroom in which meanings are discussed (Actually, this is just a door. The classroom is on the other side of the door.)

"We'll start out by speaking in simple declarative sentences."

'I'd like to push the envelope, go the extra mile, and think outside the box to facilitate a win-win solution to the over-utilization of buzzwords.'

'I'll never date another apostrophe... the last one was too possessive.'

'Oh, it's an acronym for 'It Doesn't Stand For Anything'.'

Professor treating acronyms like formulae.

'Gluteus Maximus, you're nothing but a bum.'

Tug of pronunciation: 'We say to-may-to...' 'We say to-mah-to...'

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

'Yes you did, Mike. You just said 'perchance.' And yesterday you called me 'my good fellow.' Twice.'

Future Tents

Slobbish man says to woman: 'Couch potato is a deeply offensive term - we prefer furniture-based leisure prioritizers.'

Autumn: A Time for Reflection

"This is Daddy, honey. That was Daddy's office voice."

'The total failure of language.'

Banoonoos: 'They've been phonetically modified.'

'I hated to do it, but conflicts like this are inevitable without a logical language.'

"By George she's got it"

'Oxymoron'

'I heard he was a thesaurus editor.'

"It doesn't have a damn thing to do with political correctness, pal. I'm a sausage,and that guy's a wienie."

Communication issues.

Let's learn English.

Language purists bring correctness to a whole new level, forcing a name change for Ireland's most famous band.

'Apparently, the locals have over 40 different words for snow!'

'No use talking to him. He only speaks Latin.'

NLP The Power of Words - 'That was quite a powerful one.'

'You ssspeak funny! How come you don't have a lisssp?'

'Word up homey!'