Linguistic Gifts

"'Ere mate, are you interested in buying some bent gear?"

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

Torturing the English Language

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Punctuation Police

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

What's normal?

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'The Questioner'

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Lessons in Prehistory.

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"It's a play on words."

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

Ninedency: A budding tendency

'Stick them up...'

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.