Linguistic Analysis Gifts

"I detect an accent — one that's down on its luck and has had too much to drink."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Thru versus Through Traffic

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Punctuation Police

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'The Questioner'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"It's a play on words."

Thesaurus Publishing: Out, Not here, Gone, Absent.

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

"I've just invented the question mark."

'I'm afraid it wouldn't work out, Kevin. You say 'data is' and I say 'data are'.'

'the selling of seashells by the seashore was sluggish.'

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

Your salary as a research assistant is commensurate on your ability of spell, define, and delineate the work 'commensurate.'

'Take me to you lieder.'

His Hers Pers Vis Xyrs Hirs TBD

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

Future Tents

'My father is very hard to communicate with ? he only knows nouns and interjections.'

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

'Ever since we invented the past tense, she brings the past up all the time!'

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

"Carpe pizza"