Linguistic Observer Gifts

Then: 'And mind your Ps and Qs' Now: 'And mind your Fs and Cs'

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Why we need poetry. . .

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'the selling of seashells by the seashore was sluggish.'

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

"I think you'll like this idea-it's sort of 'dull' meets 'inoffensive.' "

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

Regardless children just want to fit in.

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

A Semicolon.

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

Apostrophe. . . Apostropher

Trump Tower

"Sorry, I'm not criticizing your driving so much as I'm marvelling that you're still alive."

"He's a fine talker, but can you understand Portuguese?"

John Kerry making a speak: 'What'd he say?'

"No, no, your job's not going out of the country to some foreign bastard. We're just firing you."

A horse driving a Model T tows an Amish buggy.

'I don't like this part. 'Please find enclosed the inclusion of my enclosure'.'

'Sometimes I think you're on a different planet.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

Gone to seed.

"Beware of avant-guard dog."

TV and man