Linguistic Mischief Gifts

"Hi! I'm on the trina."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

Time Table

Wordplay: Mandate - Escort Agency.

'Little Nurse' daughter trying to distract Daddy so he cuts himself shaving

"Standard equipment includes the Manual Anti-Collision Sonic Warning System...otherwise known as the horn."

"No you idiot! I said to get a brain, not bran cereal!"

'Today I learned a little grammar in the classroom and LOTS of vocabulary on the playground!'

"My math teacher says I should consider becoming a teacher some day."

It's not like you to be late... Forgot to set my alarm cock. (Alarm cock? What did you say that for?!)

"Who made this mess?"

'Biggo was easy but I had a liitle trouble with Dairy.'

'Don't tell him I can't speak, French. He's paying me to translate his girlfriends letters.'

Cull anyone who says "at the end of the day" or "To cut a long story short" more than once in a conversation.

"Watch this!"

"Ok, George ... now you've ruined Christmas."

'My ad said I was 'blond with curves' it didn't say anything about me being a woman.'

The Toast Hunter

"I should've never taught you to shake."

Those bubble wrap kids.

Sharon got stuck. . .

Flirtation

"Oh no! The dog's eaten the Thesaurus"

"The monarch appreciates your wit, but thinks your timing sucks."

'Employment service? I asked for keypunchers, not cowpunchers!'

The adorably cute Labradoor (A dog in the shape of a door)

Careful Fred, looks like another leper con.

'Today the dollar rose on news the yuan, yen, rupee and baht are difficult to pronounce.'