Likes Collector Gifts

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Toadstools

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Raincloud Umbrella

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Piranhaclaus

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Duck Hunt

Thinks he's too cool for school.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Early cyborg.

Best before 65 million BC.

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

Letter Collecting Nerd

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

Ice shelfie.

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

Inflating Boobs.