Lighthearted Dental Enthusiast Gifts

Staff Toothpick of the Month.

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Toothless Meal

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

No other lab did as cutting edge research using lab rats as test subjects as McWit Lab.

'I'm the good witch...this is my house made out of dental products.'

I see braces in his future.

'Must you always point out my floss?'

The inscription says: 'Whiter teeth; fresher breath.'

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep and with the sun if I've found death, please excuse my morning breath.

Here's my dental insurance card. Sorry. Twig had a visit within the last 6 months. This one's not covered. That was a check-up. This is an emergency. How about Twig's chipped tooth? Your policy doesn't cover cosmetic problems. Now I get it! My insurance is cosmetic. Have a nice day!

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

Air Dentistry

'I'm worried: He doesn't have buckteeth...'

'I still have all my own teeth.'

'Please become a NHS dentist!'

Savoy Dental Salon

'What are you doing? We only take the teeth they leave under the pillow.'

"You've been grinding your fangs."

"Please point out the problem tooth."

'This is a song about a man who visited his dentist. 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGH!' Thank you.'

'My, that's some cavity' (words echo on)

"I had them sharpened so I can eat cows."

Dentist Speak - Monologues

Wanting to save his parents thousands in orthodontic costs, Lyle makes braces for himself in metal shop.

"Remove your shoes and socks. We ran out of laughing gas"

"Yes, I believe I was one of the first dentists to use computers!"

'Does your company have a dental plan?'

"It's teeth whitening."

'Let's see... how many squeezes did that commercial say to put on the brush?'