Lighthearted Couple Pillows

"Our marriage license....expired three years ago!"

"Have you been bathing in moonlight?"

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

'You may now kick the bride.'

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'Remember last Saturday. . . you were bold that day. No dear, caught.'

true love.

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

'Do you come here often?'

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

"When I'm with you, Ted, I feel dirty."

Husband and Child in Pram

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

CFL bulb and ice cream cone fall in love

"It took the better part of seventeen years, but you finally get me."

"Wanna go out?"

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

'Was it good for you?' 'I haven't finished yet!'

"There's nothing wrong with your marriage that an extra bathroom and walk-in closet can't solve."

Another great new year's eve! We're not doing anything, Ames. That's what's so good about it. The Dixons asked us over for a Quaker new year. They pop the bottles at 9 p.m. I guess

"I told you I wouldn't be any good at this game. Look, I've gone and hit the ball down one of those little holes again."

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

'If you weren't afraid to commit, you'd CARVE it, not use a pencil.'

'Tell dad he did a lousy paint job.'

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

'I knew I shouldn't have brought you along. I haven't had a hit all day.'

'Wow! I'm a dog person too!'

Carpet cleaning

Did you know that 3 to 4 glasses of wine a day can reduce your risk of giving a s**t. . . but you'll pee a lot more.

"That's so romantic Otto! You're farting OUR song!"

"I have two children from a previous economic cycle."

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"