Lighthearted Comic Gifts

I've got half a mind to get one.

"Too much concealer?"

A Golden Non-Retriever

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Daffodil bulbs

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

'Vacuums!'

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

Surreal Ale Pub.

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

"So tell me about your last poop."

Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 5

"Is the light bothering you?"

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

Carpet cleaning

Giving thanks.

"Dude, don't say it..."

'We've talked it over, and we've decided to hold you for observation.'

We couldn't help but notice, Mary, that you got a new fleece, and it's white as snow.

I was bitten by a radioactive bedbug – My superpower is getting a solid eight hours of sleep every night. Wow. So lucky.

"I've forgotten your face but I remember your mask."

'Let me put it this way...don't start watching any miniseries on TV.'

"Damn kids and their graffiti."

" When you're done fooling around with those lights, come and eat your dinner, it's getting cold!"

Flo's Christmas Lights: 'I really like what you've done with yawr Christmas lights this yeaw Flo.'

"The doctor is a little squeamish, so don't mention anything gross."

"Dinner's almost ready, you better not have eaten anything on the way home!"

'When you get closed down I'd be willing to take any dirty books off your hands.'