Lighthearted Art Pillows

Balderdash

The Food Chain

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Push for Disco...

Some unusual family photographs decorate podiatrist's desk.

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

Going Down?

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

Family Butcher.

'Do you come here often?'

A small man under a giant microscope.

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

"Wanna go out?"

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'It's a bill collector!'

'Maybe if you cut off an ear it would look better.'

"And now, moving along to our right, we have Hilda Schumacher, of Zelton Falls, Pennsylvania. Ms. Schumacher has been painting clowns on velvet for over fifteen years, and we find her work a fine example of this genre."

"Get your knockoff pretzels."

Apparently, there are manuals, and then there are MANUALS.

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

Did you know that 3 to 4 glasses of wine a day can reduce your risk of giving a s**t. . . but you'll pee a lot more.

"Ok, Mr. Snow, let me explain the procedure."

"I'm afraid I'm kind of a klutz."

'Sorry, Oog, but you're out of compliance with the evolution protocols.'

Standing on sheets of paper.

'Hmmmm! Third time he's been back he MUST be keen.'

The Grim Reaper's pets.

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

Octopus Romance with Sea Mine

I've got half a mind to get one.

"The doctor is a little squeamish, so don't mention anything gross."

Pear Lights

"It's a good life, if you don't mind swimming in circles"

'I thought you might like to know that your butt just burned out.'