Lighter Collector T-Shirts

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Rudolph goes green (compact flourescent nose)

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

'Ideas.com' desk with a 'come' tray and a 'gone' tray.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"We were having a great conversation and then someone clapped."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'It's my latest novel, 'Hard Times' part 2.'

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

The Appearance of the Gatling Machine-Gun in 1864 caught the world by surprise.

Weapons of War Through the Ages.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I love the popping sounds on old vinyl LPs..."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"The only think we'll be able to shoot at soon will be that right to roam lot..."

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

"I wonder what this was for."